Archive for February, 2010

I’ve probably mentioned that change takes time and you have to give yourself flexibility when making big shifts in your life. But some shifts don’t have to take a long time. These are the kinds of shifts that start in your mind. As humans we are prone to thought ruts, those continual verses that play in your mind telling you why things are a certain way and how you should feel about it.

Not long ago I found myself in a spot I was uncomfortable with. I wanted to create a network within my community to share and promote my services. My thoughts were focused on the notion that I had to find a very specific certain group of people, my people. People who were like me in many ways, that way I was assured that they would understand my ideas, business, and services. Of course when you try to force things to be a certain way, it never comes to fruition because you are expecting a perfect version of it. Frustrated with where these thoughts were getting me, which was no where, I decided to step out of my comfort zone and think differently about the subject. 

I then went out into the world with a new approach. My new approach included being open to the fact that there are many people who could benefit from my services. With this new approach, I now viewed my world differently and approached people differently, which in the end equaled better results. I was now projecting my energy in a clear, confident, non apologetic, passionate way. I was not longer looking for approval and had detached from the outcome. Too many of us attach our self worth to the approval of others. When we let go of that everything becomes easier, we just allow ourselves to be.

Once I removed myself from thoughts that they needed to understand me and like what I was doing and saying, it allowed me to be happy and carefree in the world. And guess what? The world responded with openness and interest. Suddenly many people were interested in my services. Others just wanted to chat with me more about what I do. The people who weren’t interested didn’t seem to matter. I was okay with that too. Did I look for approval? No. Did I plan it? No. Did  I make it happen? No. By allowing yourself to be who you are, you can change how you are perceived, simply by the power of your presence.

Even if you don’t have your own business, changing your thoughts and approach can help you in a myriad of ways in the world. It can help you in an interview for a new job. It can help you get promoted to a better position in a company. It can help you develop leadership skills. In the end, what everyone is looking for is permission to be themselves. When you detach yourself from the thought ruts that are holding your confidence at bay, and display your best qualities, you now approach situations with a sense of clarity and assuredness that will influence your co-workers and employers alike. Give it a try; you may be surprised by the results.

Laura Tirello is a Career and Life Coach. Her company, Core Life Design, works with people who are looking to find their highest potential both in their careers and personal lives. Are you looking for ways to turn your ideas into goals for 2010? I am offering a free teleclass, “Shifting from Thinking to Doing: Creating a Mission Statement”. Email Laura at Laura@corelifedesign.com to sign up or visit corelifedesign.com   for more information.

It is not news to anyone that the climate of the workplace has shifted dramatically over the last year or so. My clients often tell me that they fear losing their jobs and will do anything required of them to secure their positions. Other clients come to me frustrated with longer hours and more demands and feel powerless. To many it feels like a choice less world right now. Allowing yourself to be powerless in your world is not going to help you progress or succeed in an ever changing workplace. The key is to learn resilience with change and empower yourself with the choices you do have.

  I often use a tool called better, barter, or bag it with my clients. The concept is that in any situation you have a choice. For people who are working in companies where the downsizing has left few staff members and the same workload there is probably not a lot of bartering of responsibilities that can happen. Many employees feel that their employers are taking advantage of them due to the recession. And the option of “bagging” the job is not a good one with so few jobs on the market. This is a hard position to be in but it’s important to realize that you do have choice.

 This is where bettering it comes in. In order to “better” a situation you need to learn to accept the situation with out reacting to it and use your creative powers to look at ways of doing things differently. The creative part plays itself out here by developing new strategies. Think of how you can get the same amount of work done by doing it differently. Changes in the ‘how” may save a lot of time and allow you to feel less stressed and in turn be able to leave work at a more reasonable hour.

 If your work responsibilities are intertwined with several of your co-workers, discuss with them how the situation could be handled by working together to create a new system where the work gets done in a timely manner and everyone’s time is respected. Present it to the management as a group; emphasize your commitment to the company and how this plan would benefit everyone. Try to avoid complaining about the situation, this may shut the management off completely. Creating alternatives in which there is a mutual benefit will create a more open atmosphere where a healthy discussion can occur.

 If you are in a position where you have to go it alone, make an appointment with your boss. Start the meeting off by empathizing with him about the struggles that exist in the current economic climate and how this affects everyone. Have a plan you can present to him that shows you are still a team player, but allows you to some freedom in getting your task completed. This could be by organizing your responsibilities differently or presenting options that could help the company meet its objectives more effectively. The key here is to empower yourself by creating a new way of getting things done that benefits the company and your personal time equally. It is worth trying, if you get nothing from it materially you will have at least gained the confidence in discovering that you have a voice and ideas to share. It will also give you some momentum to start developing a plan for your career that will enable you to find a position that is more compatible with your lifestyle.

Laura Tirello is a Career and Life Coach. Her company, Core Life Design, works with people who are looking to find their highest potential both in their careers and personal lives. Are you looking for ways to turn your ideas into goals for 2010? I am offering a free teleclass, “Shifting from Thinking to Doing: Creating a Mission Statement”. Email Laura at Laura@corelifedesign.com to sign up or visit corelifedesign.com   for more information.

Being confident and resilient are the best qualities you can possess in the current job market. For some people these qualities seem to come naturally, as if they were born knowing who they are and what they have to offer the workplace and world. How do they do it? Can I do it? These are the questions I hear often from clients. They do it naturally and so can you. Being confident and resilient can be learned skills. 

In order to possesses confidence and resilience even when things don’t work out as planned you must first recognize your natural strengths and become completely comfortable with who you are. This comfortability will transfer into what you offer in the world and whether it is a job interview or a business offer, people will be naturally attracted to your confidence. Does this mean everything will always go your way? No, life is never perfect. That is where the resiliency comes in and if you want to be successful in any economy or job market, mastering this skill is crucial. 

 In order to be resilient you need to detach your self from the outcome of the situation you are presented with. This doesn’t mean check out completely. It means remove the self identification from the outcome of the situation. Go to the interview and really let yourself shine; instead of consuming yourself with thoughts like: “If I say xyz perfectly I’ll get the job” or “I have to get this job because it proves I am competent”. If you focus on doing everything just right  and then believe your worthiness only comes from being hired by them you are holding back your true confident self. You are so attached to the outcome that without knowing it you are coming across as desperate and unsure. 

    Some strategies for developing resiliency are as follows:

• The job interview seemed perfect. They hung on every word and loved your ideas. But the call never came. Instead of criticizing yourself and feeling like a failure, think about everything you did right. Then notice how you didn’t get the response you expected and what you may do differently the next time. Realize the decision may have had nothing to do with you personally.

• Notice that looking at what you did right takes you away from feeling like a failure. As humans we can get fixated on the negative. We let situations like job interviews or no responses to a marketing campaign act as triggers for our thoughts and emotions about ourselves. When you detach from the outcome, what can be perceived as failure doesn’t attach itself to our confidence or thwart our efforts to strive for success.

• It may feel difficult at first, but over time learning to tune into your confidence and detach from outcomes will give the boost you need to keep putting yourself out into the world. Surround yourself with people who can serve as role models and support systems. You’ll begin seeing that the stumbles you’ll encounter along the way won’t hold you back because you will have a group of people who believe in you and what you are doing. Keep yourself focused by being resourceful to others as well.

Laura Tirello is a Career and Life Coach. Her company, Core Life Design, works with people who are looking to find their highest potential both in their careers and personal lives. Are you looking for ways to turn your ideas into goals for 2010? I am offering a free teleclass, “Shifting from Thinking to Doing: Creating a Mission Statement”. Email Laura at Laura@corelifedesign.com to sign up or visit corelifedesign.com   for more information.

I recently saw a video about Daniel Pink’s new book “Drive”. For those of you unfamiliar with Daniel Pink he is the author of several best selling books about the changing world of work and focuses on human motivation. In this short video titled “Two Simple Questions That Can Change Your Life”, which can be found at www.danpink.com, Pink discusses the importance of having a mission statement about your career and what you want to accomplish. He says that if you really focus on what you want to accomplish, you can use your sentence to navigate your life. His examples are short and sweet and don’t require you to get really deep and philosophical. One of his examples was simply “I taught two generations of kids how to read”. The importance of the statement is not the words, but it is the sense of knowing who you are and where you are going. This sense of clarity gives you the direction you need to accomplish things over the long term. So ask yourself, what’s your sentence?

The second important part of having a mission statement according to Daniel Pink is to ask yourself everyday “Was I Better Today than Yesterday?” If you take the time to ask yourself that question each day you will see the progress you are making. It also gives you the motivation to improve your daily activities in your career, business or life. Too many times people get caught in the overwhelm of achieving greatness immediately. Being great is really just a matter of time and practice. We improve over time and if you can accept that challenge you are already successful. 

Some people may be thinking that coming up with a mission sentence is hard because there are so many things they want to achieve. Here are some steps to getting started: 

• Focus on the one thing you are most passionate about.
• What is it that you want to accomplish in this area?
• Who are the people you are trying to serve?

Once you have narrowed it down try to fill in the following sentence: I work with __________ who want to _______.   I am the only _______ who _______. This will get you closer to figuring out who you are and what direction you would like to go. This sentence gives you a starting point; it’s not a life long commitment. It will grow and change over time and you will attain the goal and move on to the next action. The point of the exercise is to help you form the habit of setting clear intentions and then working towards meeting those intentions on a daily basis. Besides just helping you form a good habit, it can also reduce your stress. Constant multitasking can leave you overwhelmed and unfocused. When you allow yourself the time and space to develop skills and confidence with something you are passionate about, you are filled with a sense of peace that makes everyday smoother. Every action you take feels effortless.

Laura Tirello is a Career and Life Coach. Her company, Core Life Design, works with people who are looking to find their highest potential both in their careers and personal lives. Are you looking for ways to turn your ideas into goals for 2010? I am offering a free teleclass, “Shifting from Thinking to Doing: Creating a Mission Statement”. Email Laura at Laura@corelifedesign.com to sign up or visit corelifedesign.com   for more information.