Archive for January, 2011

We are a society of quick fixes and this “now” urgency filters into most areas of our lives. I see it manifested in the way that we search for jobs. We want the perfect, shiny, easy solution to discovering and achieving what we really want to do in our professional lives. We’re given so many examples in t.v., radio, and movies of these fabulous people who seem to have it all figured out and are making millions. In most cases, the having it all together and figured out part is far from reality. If you knew all the factors that had to happen in the background before the instant success; you would understand that it is a process.


The truth of the matter lies in looking at yourself. That’s the hardest part. Clients will come to me wanting to know what tests they can take to be told exactly what they should do and be in life. They think that quick answer will be the key to ending all the frustration and will save them a lot of time. The problem with that thinking is how you respond to a test may tell you what you are good at, but will never tell you what you really want. The people who have reached high levels of success have done so by following a gut instinct that told them to pursue an idea, not because a piece of paper said this is what they would be good at.


Back to the looking at yourself part. Whether you have just entered the workforce or have been doing the same job for years successfully and are searching for the right fit, the best way to figure out what the ideal career step would be is to jump into the fire. It may sound strange, but what we really want to do is hidden within. It’s that quiet voice giving you hints and nudges here and there. The problem is that our mind is so focused on the “now” that we dismiss or ignore it all together. Part of that avoidance is because we are afraid to jump into the fire. This idea is based on my coach mentor Martha Beck’s term “Ring of Fire”, which is the process of disbelieving false ideas that are causing us discomfort.


We know what we want in our careers but we are afraid to jump into the fire for all kinds of reasons. We need a job that is secure, that is low risk, that gives us all the goodies that the advertisers say successful people should have. The problem is we are spending our days doing something we dislike. Can you imagine how much money you could make if you did something you actually did like? But our brains are not wired to think that way. Our survival mode of thinking keeps us in place and uses fear as the fire that we don’t want to get too close to because we’ll get burned. If we can learn to recognize the fear for what it is and step in to the fire, it may feel like we’re burning; but what we’re actually doing is transforming into a new, energized, purposeful version of ourselves. The confident successful on the outside, but fearful on the inside will no longer exist. You become the confident successful person on the inside and out. From this place, the real magic of creating an ideal career begins. It may take some time and won’t happen right away, but compared to the years that you could spend in a job that you are not fit for, it’s well worth the time and effort.


How do you do this? You can start by making a list of all the things you would love to do if there was absolutely no limitation based on money or circumstances. Then look at the list and see which ones feel the lightest and freeing to you. Ask yourself: what’s stopping me? You’ll probably come up with lots of logical thoughts, but most of these are just fears disguised as logic. Gently question those thoughts and see what emerges. Just the questioning will allow the fearful part of yourself to start to burn away. Then take a break from the trying and come back to it later. Over time you will become more clear on what you really want.

In his book “The Tipping Point”, Malcolm Gladwell states that we make snap judgments all the time and generally are right on with our first instinct, which we then ignore. These judgments come from our mind, but our instinct is working from our body’s reaction to a certain situation, person, or environment. Most of the time we are not conscious of the fact that it is happening at all. If you can learn to tap into the instinct part that is making a decision for you, this is the first key to success in your career or business. To do this you have to pay attention to what your body is telling you. Sound a little too strange? Not really when you consider how many people quote their gut instinct as how they were able to find a career they love, start a successful business, or find their soul mate.

If they can do it, so can you. It’s simply a skill that can be cultivated. You may hear some experts state that it ‘s about having the right mindset. You could spend forever working on each and every thought to create the perfect mindset, but the real problem lies in being disconnected with your body. In this society we are taught to essentially ignore any feeling or emotion and just focus on the facts. The disconnect lies in the fact that your desires, passion and innate strengths all lie in your body and they are activated by feelings and emotions. When you ignore them, you are disregarding your instinct. Instinct doesn’t think about it, it just knows.

How exactly does this relate to finding a career you enjoy, starting a new venture, or just learning to get ahead in the job you’re in? Here’s how: The energy you carry in your body influences everyone and everything around you. If you are not clear on how you feel in certain situations and environments, you project this uncertainty. It’s difficult to get ahead, be brave, or just be content when you are living in uncertainty. But your body is not uncertain; it knows exactly what the perfect scenario is for you. It knows when something is not right for you. Ignoring it stops you from recognizing your next best step.

Want to learn how to follow your instinct. Here are some ways:

1)  A few times a day ask yourself how you are feeling. Do a scan of your body. Does it seem tense? Where? Is it only in certain situations? Try to keep note the where and when.

2)  Notice when you are totally engaged and filled with excitement. What does that feel like in your body? Remember this sensation. This is your body’s way of telling you something is right for you. It will feel light, free, and you will be energized.

3)  When meeting a company for an interview, walking to a boardroom to propose an idea, or trying to figure classes you want to explore: stop and notice what your body is telling you. It doesn’t mean you drop everything and run when something doesn’t seem right, it means that you become aware. Then your instinct will kick in and lead you to the next right step without the wavering indecision created by our over working influenced minds.

For myself, I knew the moment I walked into my first job that it was wrong for me. I was tense, beyond nervous, and felt like I had entered a foreign world. I ignored it and pressed on. Though I was successful, I endured years of needless stress and dissatisfaction. It seems so normal to just “suck it up” to nothing being perfect and press on. However, the toll that dismissing our true path takes on our bodies and mind is huge. Leaving or changing your career may seem like a big step, so start small by listening to the hints your body is giving you at every moment.

Here we are again at the very beginning of a New Year and this time, a new decade. Every January I would spend hours assessing the previous year, coming up with new goals, and of course criticizing myself for not meeting every expectation I had of myself in a very neat, perfect, and measured way. I don’t know about you, but to me that stopped feeling like a productive use of my time and became a total energy drain. For many years I believed that was the way it had to be done. Until I realized it wasn’t and created a way to get exactly what I wanted out of each day and every moment.

The result: an elevated sense of happiness and a huge surge in my business.

If you don’t have your own business and are looking for ways to create more success in your career and other parts of your life, this can help you as well. It’s not hard, you don’t have to be a genius, and it won’t consume too much of your time.

It is as simple as this: Choose Your Words Carefully. We have been taught this in childhood by authority figures, but I’m not talking about social etiquette. I am talking about choosing words that will empower you to create and act on exactly what you want   from your career. Choose a few words, the number is irrelevant, but it’s probably best to keep it simple and try to limit it to 4 words or less. Choose words that embody what you want to achieve this year. My words this year are easy, connection, and freedom.

How does it work? When you find yourself in a stressful situation at work instead of just reacting, ask yourself if your reaction fits your intention for the year. If your word is calm, would speaking sharply to a co-worker over a mistake match what you want to create? Probably not. I’m not saying don’t address issues, but address it from who you want to be.

This method can transfer into many parts of your life. If one of your words is connection, but you find that the grad classes you enrolled in to get you to your success goal are preventing you from spending time with anyone but your computer, it’s time to look back at your word. If it’s connection that you value, you can make the time to both be successful at school and spend time with people you adore. The word allows you to stop the all or nothing thinking, and react in ways that can get you what you want in every situation.

That’s where carefully comes in: what you choose to focus on becomes larger. Choosing words and thoughts that are meaningful will increase your success.

Give it a try. Choose a word and use it as a touchstone when you are making decisions throughout the day. Place it close by so you are reminded of what you want to achieve.