Archive for March, 2011

Long, long ago there was a young woman who was afraid of taking initiative. She had lots of great ideas and was a go-getter, but inside she was always looking for permission. She wanted somebody to tell her it was okay to just do it. She had strong opinions and a great sense of intuition, but didn’t want to rock the boat. She sat still and quiet, with the ideas brewing inside of her which led to frustration.


That woman was me. If I could talk to her from where I stand today, I would tell her that the key to true freedom is to express all of those great thoughts and ideas. It’s not about being pushy and there’s really no danger of complete failure, it’s just about opening the door to opportunity. I am a subscriber to Seth Godin’s blogs. For those of you who may not know of him he is a best selling author whose books focus on entrepreneurship and marketing. He has started several companies. In a recent blog post he says:


“It’s so easy to get hung up on reacting to incoming, on working through a checklist and on imagining what the boss wants you to do next. It’s far more productive, I think, to decide where you want to go and then go there. And the power and low-price of online tools makes that easier than ever.


The key difference between initiators and everyone else is the simple idea of posture. What do you say to yourself in between assignments? What do you do when you see something that needs doing?


Sasha asks himself (not his boss), “what’s next?” And that’s the shift. You look at a world of opportunities and you pick one. Initiative is taken, it’s not given.”

Far too many of us spend our time in reaction modes. We sit tight in meetings reacting to information, not processing what we could really do with it. The same goes for business owners, we spend a lot of time reacting to our bottom line that we often ignore what we could do to initiate more business by actually using our ideas. We very rarely listen to our bodies or our intuition and therefore are unsure of what even to initiate.


I’m not suggesting that you just throw out random ideas with no clear focus. It’s about allowing yourself to take a concept and develop it, then be brave enough to share it. From my experience there never really is a downfall to initiating, a majority of my business has been built that way. In the end if you don’t take that first step forward you’ll never have any notion of what could be. And doesn’t that seem sad to think in “could of beens”? Make a commitment to yourself to end the frustration and take imitative even if it seems small.

Perfectionism sucks you dry, plain and simple. I’ve been reading Apolo Anton Ohno’s book Zero Regrets: Be Greater Than Yesterday. I wasn’t surprised to learn that perfectionism is something that he struggled with in his sports career. To be successful you have to have the desire to work to your greatest ability, the problem lies in pushing yourself so far beyond your limits, that being perfect becomes a impediment to achieving what you want.


In Apolo’s words: “My personal best is good enough, as long as I’ve given it everything I’ve got. It’s too intense and too unforgiving a life if you live trying to be a perfectionist. Perfect is, in a real sense, unattainable. It’s a little like being on a perpetual Stairmaster- the thing never shuts off, the stairs piling down and down, sometimes faster, sometimes slower, but never, ever off. Sometimes you’ve got to get off the machine, hold the rails, look around, and appreciate all the stairs you’ve already climbed.”


If you are struggling with perfectionism, there is nothing wrong with you. It’s just an imbalance. And I’m not talking chemically. A part of you has gone into overdrive and it’s just a matter of taking back the wheel. When we get really fixated on being perfect with our career, our business, or even our body; it’s a way in which we can focus our energy away from what we don’t like and into something we believe we can control. We overwork, over worry, and push ourselves physically. We believe that will get us what we want. Nothing could be further from the truth.


In our quest to be perfect we are denying what we don’t like about ourselves. We don’t think our ideas are good enough so we’ll keep working on them until they get better. We think we don’t measure up (the measurement is usually in our mind), so we work really hard to make ourselves better because that will get us what we want thereby making us feel better. Only it never seems to work, with each achievement we still cast doubt on ourselves.


The truth is that you are enough, right now in this moment. Everything you think, do, and say is exactly what it is supposed to be. In it’s own imperfect way, you are living a perfect version of your life. Once you stop trying to fix it by working harder, more, or better; your true genius will emerge.


If you notice yourself on the perfectionist path ask yourself why you are approaching a task in a particular way. If the answer is “because that’s the way it is done” or that’s the only way to get ahead”: you are not recognizing your own unique abilities.  How do I know? It lacks passion. Your why is about who you are and what’s important to you. It doesn’t include have to’s and doesn’t make you exhausted at the end of each day. It may be difficult to quit your perfectionist ways cold turkey, so take it slow. Notice the messages it’s giving you and how it feels on a very simple level. In order to truly do your personal best with no regrets, it’s a combination of focusing and letting go at the same time. When you find that balance you’ll feel it in both your body and mind.