Archive for October, 2011

I’ve always been a do it your selfer (not sure if that’s even word!). Fiercely independent, and at times stubborn, I always wanted to do things on my own. In the past it was difficult for me to ask for help. I always believed I could do it myself.  Then along my journey I realized that trying to do it alone makes it much more difficult than it needs to be.

 

A part of me still thinks it’s true that you can do anything yourself, but the other part knows there’s a true power and a greater outcome when you ask for help.  Let’s face it, there are areas where we all struggle and while we can push through on our own, we gain much more by asking for help.

 

I have realized within myself and with my clients most of the difficulty in the help equation comes on the receiving end. It feels awkward to receive help when you are used to doing it alone.

 

This year I have suffered an injury that has given me insight into how much pressure we put on ourselves to do it all alone. Time and time again I’ve had to ask help with things that were once normal to me. What I have learned in this process is that it feels good to receive support. I don’t have to go it all alone.

 

The more I have allowed myself to be vulnerable by asking for assistance due to my condition, the more I have realized the power of receiving. From the gentle touch from my yoga teacher encouraging me to release the frustration of only being to do a small portion of what I used to be able to do in class, to people carrying things for me, I have felt the powerful feeling of abundance that comes from getting support.

 

What I have learned is that being totally transparent is not about being a victim and overwhelming people with your junk. It’s about being honest with where you are at and what you need.  And when you let go of that “I can do it all alone mentality” you gain a sense of confidence with the fact that you can have faults or difficulties and still be okay.

 

That’s the energy that resonates most with people.

 

You don’t have to be in physical pain or have sustained an injury to ask for help. There are many ways this can filter into your life from your career to your relationships.

 

Ask yourself the following questions:

 

1)   Are there things about your career that bother you that could be alleviated if you asked for support from your colleagues?

2)   Is there a need in your relationship that is not being filled because you are not asking for what you want?

3)   Are you not accomplishing a goal that you have dreamed of because there are parts of that are too overwhelming?

 

I am sure you can see yourself in at least one of these three questions.  A suggestion I give to all of my clients is to become the scientist or journalist of their own life. Notice what you need and then experiment with implementing it in your life.

 

Don’t get caught up in expectations, just experiment with making small requests and changes in the way you handle things and notice if you’re situation begins to change.

 

I’d love to hear about it:)

Not having the time is the number one excuse we all use when we aren’t getting the results we want. I won’t argue with the fact that our lives are jammed packed with activity. For many of my clients it’s work, kids, house chores, and bed.


The difference between my clients who get what they want and the ones who don’t is time management. You can’t delete your job or time with your kids, but you can manage it differently.


Many of my clients are creative types: they write, paint, dance, and sing. They enjoy doing what they love. So they make the time wherever they can and they put it on their schedule. Whether it’s a Friday afternoon when the kids are at a friend’s house or it’s after the kids are asleep, they make the time. Does it get done every single day or even week? Of course not, life gets messy at times and they know you can’t make time perfect. However, the intention is set and the momentum is there so it becomes a part of their lives.


The same thing goes for your job. You may be in a situation right now that you can’t change. You may need the benefits or the hours are good for your family’s schedule. That doesn’t mean you can’t start making the change you want now. You can do it by setting small weekly goals. As small as spending 15 minutes a week to research other careers.

 

Then you can look into the future and see how your small goals can become larger goals. Can you carve out a few hours a week to take a class? Can you start putting a certain amount of money aside to start your own business? These may seem big at first, but when you understand that everything starts from one small act and grows over time, you’ll see that what seems impossible now is actually doable.

 

It’s all about giving yourself the freedom of choice. When you realize you have the choice you can then make a commitment to making the time for it or not. It doesn’t have to be a perfect scenario to get what you want, which is simply the feeling of joy you get from engaging in what makes your soul feel alive.

 

Here are some things to think about.

 

• How can you create more choices in your life?

 

• Where can you find the time to start creating what you want?

 

• Start by making a schedule of how you use your time everyday. Include everything. Look at tasks that you could change. Can you ask the kids to help you clean?

 

• Can you ask your partner to watch the kids to give you two hours of uninterrupted time to focus on you want?

 

• Could you simply watch 1 or 2 hours less of TV each week?

 

The more you examine what you do with your time the more you’ll realize there are little spaces of time throughout the day that you can use to work towards your dreams.

 

I’d love to hear what you’ve come up with!