Archive for January, 2012

Everyone is looking for the answer.

 

They want to know the best way to get a healthier body, a better mindset, a relationship, or a new job.

 

They believe the answer is eluding them somehow. They should know it by now.

 

That’s when I tell them: they do.

 

It’s in their body. It’s in all our bodies. We all have it in equal measure. It is our inner voice, our intuition, and our inner wisdom. Call it what you like: it’s a part of us that’s always there waiting to be listened to.

 

When I tell my clients that all they need to do is listen to their bodies their first question is: “how long do you do meditate?” And then “you mean like yoga?” comes in a close second.

 

It seems that there is an idea floating around that meditation and yoga are the only ways to access our inner wisdom.

 

They are often surprised when I tell them that I don’t do conventional meditation and when I do get still it’s only for around 5 to 10 minutes at a time. Sure at first when I read a vast array of articles that prove the positive effects of meditation and yoga I thought it was a great idea. And I was getting good benefits from it. But at some point it felt like I was forcing myself to do it.  A few years ago I made the decision to trust what my body was telling me.

 

I didn’t stop doing meditation and yoga cold turkey; I just decided to do it my own way.  I put it when in my weekly schedule without a time limit and it gets done. What inspires me to keep doing it each week is I put no time restrictions on it or rules around it. I do it my way for however long or short I feel like it.

 

And it’s not the only way…

 

On some days exercise does the trick. Other days it is just spending time with images. It’s really about making the time be what I want it to be.

 

Not only does this help me relax my body, it makes me feel completely free. And in that freedom the “answers” come.

 

You can’t force clarity. You can’t force yourself into health. You can’t force yourself into a new career tomorrow.

 

The less you force, the more you hear.  Trust in yourself that you know exactly what you need and you’ll find the answers.

2011 was a really hard year for me. Quite possibly one of the hardest years of my life. So I probably shouldn’t have been surprised that I found myself with an upset and queasy stomach, as I got ready for a New Year’s party at a friend’s house. You see I had been at the same party with the same people last year. Only then everything was fresh and new, full of the promise that comes from creating a brand new life. I was finally doing what I had dreamed of.

 

I was surrounded by friends, my physical environment was beautiful, and everything with my business was going as planned.

 

Just a few months after that party, I was dealt with one disappointment after the next. By March I found myself broken down physically and mentally from an accident that I did not cause. By the beginning of July I was given a very unsavory diagnosis. Simple acts were now difficult and I had many fears of never being the same again. I also had left my “perfect” environment after the accident to get rehabilitated, separating me from my friends and what I loved to do.

 

After sitting with my feelings I realized that going back to the same party as last year made me realize what I had lost and reminded me of a perceived failure. In my mind I was looking at the party as a reminder of all that had went wrong and what I had lost.

 

Hence, the stomach pain and nausea. As soon as I went in to the party and connected with the pain, I began to accept it and myself. Then the pain lessened and the nausea disappeared. I realized everything was okay as it was. And so was I. I had lost many things last year, but gained much. Being with my friends and sharing my experience allowed me to heal in a way that I would not have done alone.

 

Had I stayed home or avoided feeling I would have missed a huge opportunity to come face to face with my pain. I would have continued lamenting and sitting with a stomach full of knots. I would have avoided feeling all together and stayed numb. Which never helps us mentally or physically in the long run.

 

Most importantly I would not have grown.  Even though I use the coaching tools I share with my clients daily, there are still times when I catch myself in my own pattern of avoidance. Then I sit and observe and allow myself to be imperfect.

 

In the New Year my best advice to you is to feel even when it is hard. Try feeling again even when your body distracts you. Then just accept you and love yourself regardless of how “good” you were at feeling your emotions. Then repeat.